'If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together' - African Proverb
Those of you who know me will know that I am that girl who hates being late and loves organisation. I'm the girl who always gets to places five minutes early. Who sets multiple alarms, writes endless lists so I don't forget things and whose days consist of knowing exactly where I am supposed to be at what time. I am always the one with a plan - that girl who has had a plan for where I want to get in life and how I am going to get there since I was ten.
While being organised is good to some extent, I can hold my hands up and admit that I lack patience. If I'm completely honest I get crazy frustrated by those people who hold up the airport queues because they don't have their passport ready and the procrastinators of this world who take two hours to do something that could be done in less than half that time.
I have been challenged to the max in this area while we have been out here. Everyone has heard of the concept of 'African Time'. Coming to Africa I have found it extremely hard to adjust to this. God has given me a massive dollop of grace in this area and has been changing my heart. I am the girl who can find revelations in every day moments, in watching the waves crash onto the beach or seeing a child's genuine smile, and in learning to wait an hour for people to show up. The old me would have freaked out if we turned up in Sweet-waters for house visits to pick up the interpreter at the time arranged only to have to go to her house to wake her up and have her join us in her PJ's - but that sort of thing is normal here.
I don't think that I will ever become the one who is late to everything (although I seem to have adopted some of the African time with how late this blog is - apologies on the couple of weeks I missed). But I am able to take a deep breath now and remind myself 'There is no rush. Just smile and enjoy this moment. Things will eventually get done.' Learning to live in this culture has changed my view on a lot of things...
I am a people person. I love people. I never considered that I might put accomplishments above people. But I am from an individualistic, achievement-driven culture where if you have a list of things to do you will be so focussed on getting them done that any interaction that distracts you will be avoided.
'Relationships can be built only if you invest time in people.' Am I building real relationships if I am not investing my whole self; my time, actually sacrificing things, not just reaching the surface?
In South Africa that is turned on its head - everything is about community. If you are in the middle of something and someone comes in you are expected to drop everything to have a chat or help them. When someone asks how you are it's not just a polite courtesy, it is with genuine interest. Everything here is based around relationships and I am growing a much deeper love for making my priority investing in people. Deadlines become so much less important when the importance of spending time with those who need you is increased. Maybe if we start to adopt this attitude in our westernised countries we can become less self centred and more servant hearted.
'There's no greater investment in life than being a people builder. Relationships are more important than our accomplishments.'
African time has also taught me that if you're always racing to the next moment then you never fully appreciate the one you're in. There is a beauty and calmness in just being content with where you are right then. Especially because now life here has become normal, time can just fly by and before you know it it's gone.
Highlights of the last couple of weeks at Tabitha include: having the kids give us flowers and letters thanking us for being 'mother figures' to them on Mothers Day, watching the boys having a splashing (ha ha) time washing the cars, riding bikes with the older children and seeing them so happy as the wind blew their faces when they raced & teaching Laura to ride a bike (yes she really couldn't ride a bike), watching the rugby where a generous spectator bought all the children a hot dog for lunch, being able to give all the girls new princess duvets for their beds, getting the opportunity to help coach the grade 5-7 boys in a football tournament, seeing the kids improve so much in their swimming lessons (with their new swimming caps), relaxing on the beach on our midterm break day, having a movie night where we all snuggled up and watched Frozen on the projector (complete with popcorn), getting a new oven in the interns kitchen (no more burnt pizzas on Saturday nights - fingers crossed) and the launch of a new Monday night bible study on the sanctity of life.
Please pray for: the teams health (we have not had the best few weeks with abscesses, rashes, bites and sickness), that the sickness bug going round the children will pass and for the supply of HIV medicine and kids as they change medication.
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That’s great, Phebe! I remember in Uganda when Helen and I were talking to one of your Dad’s African colleagues in her lunch break. She was going to a prayer meeting but stayed to talk to us instead. When we expressed concern about this she smiled and said, ‘You people have the watches, we have the time!’ Never forgot that!